“Raptor, be pure. Take a tour, through the sewer. Don’t strain your brain, paint a train. You’ll be singin’ in the rain.”

This was a song in the eighties, man. OK, Blondie was actually saying Rapture, not Raptor, but the lyrics may be apt. If you had the desire, you probably could take a tour through the sewer in this luxury tankette, which incidentally in terms of styling has this whole Tonka ethos goin’ on. It is clearly constructed to satisfy your Apocalypto/Mad Max (both involving Mel Gibson, oddly enough) fantasies. Or, if you’re into Romancing the Stone-type heroics, the Little Mule is now available at your Ford dealer iffen you have the dinero. Stoutly suspended, armed with a locking rear differential (but the 4WD is part-time only) and graced with huge rubber, this thing should be fairly hard to break. We shall see. I will task it as it is my job (but gently and responsibly, of course) and see if it is the true stock prerunner that the Border Patrol is interested in. I shall not strain my brain, nor will I paint a train, but it is raining, so. . .