Things have been pretty unsettling of late for those who enjoy the Chrysler product. First, I honestly have no idea who owns the company at the moment. Oh sure, I should know, as it’s kind of a part of my job, but I am vexed and confused by the whole Cerebus, sorry, Cerberus acquisition. Then there’s the influx of government money, and how that all works. It gets even more interesting when it comes to Dodge trucks, for, apparently, there are no more Dodge trucks.
Much in the same way “There is no Dana, only Zuul,” in the original Ghostbusters ™, now “there is no Dodge RAM, only RAM.” I still don’t get exactly why Chrysler decided to separate the RAM from the Dodge, other than may to save money. Save money, you say? Well, think of all the chrome they saved by not having to print DODGE on all their pickups, just RAM. And, there are no doubt astounding savings in printing costs for the owner’s manuals. See, I told you I didn’t get it. Here’s a weird thing, though. As of today, you can still get to the RAM website via the Dodge site, or just go to ramtrucks.com. They haven’t moved completely out of the house just yet, in other words.
But no matter. The new RAMs are, more than anything else, on the same plane quality-wise as the machines they compete against. All modern full-size pickups are remarkably refined, capable, and impressively solid. In terms of the big three, it’s a shame they don’t spend more time engineering their cars with the clear attention to detail that they do with their trucks, but after all they all sell more pickups than cars. Why is this? Well, like so many things delightfully American, tons of males like to drive a full-size truck even though they don’t really need one. The whole rest of the world, even all the tradesmen, construction workers, you name it, get by just fine as a group with far smaller, more fuel-efficient vehicles. Go figure.
I got to sample a really interesting brace of pickups, sort of the smallest and largest of the RAM line. On the “small” side I had a 1500 SLT regular cab 4X4 short bed, and on the other side of the spectrum I had a 2500 Laramie Crew Cab 4X4 with the long 8’ bed. The 1500 had the 5.7 HEMI V8 (390 HP, 407 lb-ft of torque), and the 2500 was armed with a 6.7-liter Cummins Inline Six turbodiesel (350 HP, 650 lb-ft). The little guy has the only coil-spring rear suspension presently offered on a conventional pickup (the Honda Ridgeline and Chevy Avalanche are in a different category in my view), and ride quality is pretty decent overall. The 2500 HD is basically as agile as a supertanker, and you have to call the Pilot Boat when it’s time to moor the beast. That said, the turning radius is tighter than you might expect, and the stopping distances on the 2500 HD were actually slightly shorter than the 1500 even though it weighs over a ton more. The interiors of both trucks are as good as anything out there; high on comfort, utility and good build quality (both trucks are built in Saltillo, Mexico, BTW).
The Cummins Turbodiesel with its 6-speed automatic tranny (a 6-speed manual is also available) added about $8K to the price of the truck, got around 14 MPG with no load and requires 12 quarts of oil when you change it every 7,500 miles or sooner. Diesel ran about $3.20 a gallon here when I fueled it up (30 cents a gallon more than unleaded), so suffice it to say this is not a cheap truck to operate. But for someone who has to tow a small shopping center or haul a gross of solid gold paperweights, it’s up to the job.

As for the Littler Ram, it’s a nice truck but I must confess I’ve never understood the whole regular cab/short bed thing. For a little more money, you can get bigger, more useful bed. The cab can squeeze in only three occupants (two with buckets), despite the fact that this is a very large vehicle even though it’s the smallest RAM there is. There’s a reason the regular cab configuration is getting relatively rare, because its so impractical compared to extended cab models that dramatically increase the versatility of the truck. But, whatever. Some people clearly like the Regular Shorty, probably because they like the looks.