I vote. Always have. That said, I feel like it is often a futile enterprise, getting more futile every year. Ignorance in the USA is getting worse as people become more and more selfish and shallow, which incidentally is exactly what the people making money off of some pretty morally bankrupt pursuits want. But this is another rant for another day, or perhaps not at all.
No, this is about how I love the fact I live in a small Connecticut town. And in this small town on November 2nd, we voted for a number of candidates but the most interesting race to me was for retiring Senator Chris Dodd’s old seat. On the Left, we have long-time Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, and on the Right, the World Wrestling Entertainment CEO Linda McMahon. For those of you from out of state, I am not making this up. Linda McMahon actually won the Republican primary, even though her qualifications are exclusively running the steroid-pumped “entertainment” empire created by her husband, Vince. She pumped millions of wrestling dollars into her own campaign and a substantial number of people actually voted for her, primarily because she puppets the usual conservative talking points of cutting taxes, stop big government, etc. See “Ignorance in the USA” above.
When life becomes more and more like the film Robocop it is a cause for concern. But these were the candidates, and my charming little town did a very fine job of conducting an election. Regard, if you will, the dramatic pink semicircle of paint on the parking lot surface behind my Jolie-ridden Triumph and Phil Read replica helmet, defining where no campaign rabble may cross. Our folks don’t fool about. Cross that line with your campaign rhetoric, and you get hurt. Personally, I think Invisible Fence collars should be required on all political operatives who stray onto the Town Hall Grounds. A jolt of electrons will keep them at bay, should they violate the purified voting space.
Anyway,
Once inside the Town Hall, I pondered if there could be any wrestlers about, citizens of my small town in fact, who may be doing their civic duty. Then, I got nervous. What if there were in fact TWO wrestlers in my town; one supporting Linda as the WWE Empire payed his rent and one on the side of Richard, on account of, well, let’s just say a lot of his wrestling friends died young due to steroids and the McMahons are in a very dark cloud when it comes to this subject.
An impromptu WWE-style fight could well result if both of these large warriors were at the polling place at the same time (‘cause it’s what they do for a living, after all), and then what? Well, if we still had the beautiful old mechanical voting machines, I could see one humungous combatant picking it up (hopefully with no one behind the curtain) and clocking his opponent with it. This, I have to admit, would be great theater.
But those machines are in museums somewhere. Now, we have those stupid bubble-in forms, with their pathetic little tables w/blinders. If the wrestlers engaged each other with these flimsy, sad card tables, it would be more like a bridge tournament gone bad instead of a truly violent WWE-type spectacle. Sad, really.
Anyway, as it turns out we don’t have a wrestling Senator, as Blumenthal cleaned McMahon’s clock at the polls. Yet. I still can’t believe anybody voted for her at all. But then, nearly 60 million people wanted John McCain to be President, and Sarah Palin to be our Vice President. Think about that. If your really, truthfully know anything about these two people, beyond their well-financed propaganda machines, it should scare the hell out of you. But this is where we are.
No wonder so many want to legalize pot so badly. I completely understand.