The march of the computer machines to take over the entire planet (and eventually the known universe) is proceeding apace, which will no doubt please all the geeks waiting patiently to Assimilate into the Collective. This is not to say that all computers and associated technologies are bad, of course, and in fact most are doing great things especially on the automotive front. Far be it from me to attack all the wondrous changes happening in the cockpits of automobiles, but the point I’m trying to make is there’s so much of it (and it’s happening so fast) that I can’t help but wonder how much is here to stay or just passing through. A great example of this is all the magic beans found in Audi’s formidable S6 sedan, which is a pretty fascinating car on all fronts but especially in the loaded-with-the-latest bells/whistles/lasers/radar/infrared/surveillance/speakers/it nearly drives itself/wow department. It’s also an impressive sports sedan with a potent drivetrain and chassis, as well as a heaping helping of creature comforts.
The mere mechanical car stuff includes a 420 horsepower Twin-Turbocharged V8, mated to a 7-speed Automatic transmission and Audi’s Quattro All Wheel Drive. It’s a bit of a rocket as you would imagine a midsized sedan with a fire-breathing inferno under the hood would be, and it is a gas to thunder around on your favorite twisty tarmac. Handling is sound, although ride quality deteriorates a bit over broken pavement as it’s definitely on the sporting side of the sport/luxury equation. Oh, and there’s a lot of road noise, which seems odd on a car like this. But then there’s excellent steering, and the brakes are massive beasts with rotors you could bake pizzas on and they haul the car down in short order. Great stuff, right? Of Course.
But this is just nuts and bolts and other hardware. Almost as if this car crashed into a Radio Shack there are enough wiring looms, electronics and microchips scattered throughout the car to build a server farm. This starts right when you hit the starter button (found on the right side of the center console, oddly enough). Like a small flying saucer invasion, a brace of tweeters for the optional $5,900 Bang & Olufsen sound system rises out of the corners of the dashboard as if to announce that the audio is active. Wild, and yes, the sound quality is excellent. But as cool as this is, the real fun starts with the Innovation Package. Yeegods, this $5650 option could also be called “The Future is Now” package, for it includes Audi Adaptive Cruise Control with Stop and Go function, Active Lane Assist and Side Assist, Head(s)-up Display, Topview Camera System and Night Vision Assistant.
Let’s look at these one a time, eh? The Adaptive Cruise control can deal even with compressed traffic events that mean crawling along slowly. Seems to respond pretty well, too, although like all adaptive systems it doesn’t see traffic as well as most humans do in situations such as sharp curves or the dual lane scenario when a car slows to turn left in the lane next to you. Active Lane Assist is a real trip, as it actually keeps the car in the lane (including ghost-like steering wheel takeover and course correction if you start straying out of your lane). The car knows when your hands are off the wheel and it’s having to intervene too much, and prompts you to quit texting, eating or building a small wooden ship and steer the damn thing. The Head-Up Display (I still say Heads-up, but whatever) can be switched on to project the car’s speed (or other info you can set on a menu deep within the car’s interface) on the windshield, where you can see it as you drive. This type of visual enhancement has been around for quite some time, and I personally am not thrilled by it. In theory it makes sense, but it just doesn’t really help me keep my eyes on the road any better. Maybe it’s because I don’t monitor the car’s speed instrumentation much as I tend to use feedback from the road and other factors to help keep an eye on velocity. My response may be a motorcycle thing, and naturally your results may vary.
Next: the TopView camera system. There are small video cameras located at the front, back and both sides of the car, which give you an excellent view around the car as you crumple the bodywork on all those Teslas taking up two spaces. It’s actually a great feature to see all around the car when maneuvering about, as you could spot far more precious objects than just machines.
Which brings me to my favorite gadget on an already entertaining car: the Night Vision Assistant. A few years ago I reviewed a Cadillac DeVille (I believe it was) that had a similar infrared night camera. At the time I spoke with somebody in the know at Cadillac, who mentioned a “certain” European manufacturer was also working on such a system. I don’t remember if there was a relationship involving licensing, etc. with Cadillac but now the system has disappeared from GM and is now on the Audi. Other manufacturers have had a go at their own versions of the system, and it’s primary goal is to prevent hitting pedestrians in the dark. The problem I have with it is, through no fault of its own, it is an incredibly interesting thing to gaze at as it sits in the center of the instrument cluster. As it detects heat and renders warmer things brighter, it’s downright educational. Things like electrical transformers, the underside of passing cars, even the road itself is higher in temperature than the surrounding forest and is a displayed with a white hue. The software in this system can even locate a likely pedestrian and highlight it in yellow to help get your attention. While I didn’t encounter any humans, I did come face to infrared with a opossum that thought they could throw me off the track by actually acting alive and walking around. Good fun, actually. He/she wandered off but not before I was able to take a picture for your viewing pleasure.
Of course, there are even more wonders on the S6 like a Navigation screen that folds into the dash when you don’t need it (although you need it for a lot of things besides Navigation). It uses Google maps if you want to overlay a satellite image that can even display your house, which I find creepy. A track pad located next to the shifter and adjacent to Audi’s Multi Media Interface (MMI) knob lets you write some types of data entry, as Audi explains: “Just like drawing in the sand, your index finger allows you to enter navigation destinations and telephone numbers by simply “writing” with your finger on the touchpad.” Wild. I’m still not a fan of MMI or BMW’s iDrive, or Lexus’ whatever it’s called. These nods to computer mice and trackballs basically do nothing for me in these applications, but rather just make operations that were simple more complex. Yes, you can use voice commands if you desire, but again it takes longer to use the interface (with very rare exceptions) than most operations used to via well-engineered buttons and the like. But that’s me. I’m old enough to remember cars and motorcycles that didn’t even have airbags, ABS, fuel injection or across-the-board power windows, although they did have ashtrays. We could have used the latest electronics, too, to help avoid all the dinosaur poop on the roadways as we fire up another Winston.
What is most interesting about the S6 is not just its driving dynamics, which are impressive (and fun) on their own, or even the fantastic materials and workmanship that are found all over the vehicle. What really amazed me is how much electronic wildness is integrated into the car, and touches pretty much every aspect of it. With a price as equipped of $87,720 you pay for it, too. But I doubt anyone will take issue with the cost for this is clearly a very complex machine, with countless hours of R&D to make it such a contemporary ride. The night may be Dark and Full of Terrors, but at least you can see the Others and run them down.


























































